Practices
Sacred Naming
We talk to ourselves very often, and much of the talk is negative. Become aware of this internal conversation. Make it a practice to relate to yourself with affection and compassion. Think of a term of endearment which you like. You may want to go back into any period of time in your life, including the recent past, when you remember being called or named by another person with sweetness, and with sacred, divine energy. This might have been a parent, grandparent, child, friend or loved one who addressed you in a sweet and sacred manner. It might be something such as “Brother Jamal,” or “Sweetheart,” or “Dearest….” Remember that precious moment of sacred naming, and repeat it to yourself often, in a tender tone, especially when you hear yourself speaking negatively to yourself or criticizing yourself. The use of this sacred name will inevitably change the course of your inner dialogue, and gradually it will soften and shift.
Sacred Holding
- Begin to focus on a difficult feeling that you have experienced recently. Allow yourself to experience that feeling deeply and sincerely. Tell yourself that every feeling is valid. Ask yourself, “What feeling is coming up in me?” Name that feeling. Maybe it is anger, sadness, jealousy, or bitterness. Magnify this feeling, and allow yourself to acknowledge it, gently, with compassion for yourself.
2. In the next step, ask yourself, “Where do I hold this feeling in my body?” Locate the feeling. It definitely has a resting place in your body. We are able to experience a feeling because it registers as a physical sensation somewhere in the body.
3. In the next and very important step, receive this “holding” in your body with compassion for yourself. Encompass the physical sensations in your body with the embrace of your soul. From your heart, send love and mercy to this physical holding. Talk tenderly to yourself; cultivate a gentle rapport with yourself. Tell yourself, for example, “I’m sorry you feel this…This is difficult…Let me tenderly support you…” At this time there is no need to fix or analyze the sensations, simply a need to be present with the holding for as long as you want. This is the process of “sacred trembling.”
4.Now ask yourself some questions. Does your feeling have a color? Visualize it. Does it have a shape? Visualize it. Does it have a texture? Feel it. Does it have a temperature? Feel it.
5. How does the feeling sit on you? Is it a heavy burden, a sharp stab, pulsating? What sensations are you experiencing?
6. Does it have a mother? In other words, have you ever felt these same feelings before? Remember when….
Heart-Centered Practices
Focus on the Heart
(excerpted from The Fragrance of Faith, by Jamal Rahman)
The Qur’an continuously mentions focusing on the heart: “Bring to God a sound heart, a heart that can respond.”
There’s a direct revelation from God to Prophet Muhammad called Hadith Qudsi where God says:
I cannot be contained in the space of the earth,
I cannot be contained in the space of the heavens,
But I can be contained in the space of the pure loving heart.
Divine heart is in human heart. And so the work at all times is what mystics and sages would call to open a window from human heart to divine heart. As Rumi says,
Close down speech’s door and open up the heart’s window!
The moon will only kiss you through the window.
The practice is very simple: As often as you can, keep your attention on your heart, your mindfulness, your focus; whether you’re speaking or engaged in some action, at all times—in your waking hours, in your meditative state—can you keep a part of your attention on your heart. And second, if possible, from time to time, tell your heart, with feeling, with emotion, “I love you,” or “I’m willing to love you,” or “I cherish you.” If you keep doing this, it really opens up the window between human heart and divine heart. Simply keep the focus on the heart at all times—waking hours, meditative times—and from time to time tell the heart with feeling, “I love you,” or “I’m willing to love you,” or “I cherish you.”
Verses for Contemplation
Focus your attention on the following verses:
Nothing reaches the heart
Except that which is from the heart.
—ancient Sufi wisdom
Surely we belong to God, and to God we return.
(Arabic: “In nal lahi wa inna ilay hi raji un.”)
Try to find practical ways to implement this heart-work in your daily life. You can also look for verses in all the faith traditions that express the same idea, that resonate with you.
Here are more verses from the Qur’an that revolve around the heart:
I cannot be contained in the space of the earth,
I cannot be contained in the space of the heavens,
But I can be contained in the space
Of the pure and loving heart of my servant.
—Hadith Qudsi
God guides to himself all who turn to him;
those who have faith, and whose hearts find satisfaction
in the remembrance of God,
for truly, in the remembrance of God
do hearts find rest.
—Qur’an: 13:28
The true human being is one who is humble before the unseen
and brings a heart that can respond.
—Qur’an 50:33
Surely my creator is all merciful, all love.
—Qur’an 11:90
I concerned myself to remember God, to know him and to seek him.
When I came to the end I saw that he had remembered me
Before I had remembered him,
That his knowledge of me had preceded my knowledge of him,
That his love toward me had existed before my love to him,
And that he had sought me before I sought him.
—ancient Sufi wisdom
If you get irritated by every rub
How will the mirror of your heart ever be polished?
—Rumi
Come, take a pick axe and break open your stony heart.
The heart’s matrix is glutted with rubies.
Springs of laughter are buried in your chest.
—Rumi
On Transformation
(from The Fragrance of Faith, by Jamal Rahman)
The Qur’an was revealed over a period of twenty-three years. It was sent down, little by little, stage by stage, in order that it might “strengthen the heart.”
There is sacredness in the words “little by little.” God could have sent full-blown perfect beings, flying through the cosmos, to arrive here in one instant. Gradualness, it seems, is favored by that mysterious Intelligence.
The marvelous creation of a child takes nine months. A great task is often accomplished by a series of small acts. A skillful cook lets the pot boil slowly. Night by night the new moon gives a lesson in gradualness. The Qur’an says that “God only commands when willing anything is saying to it, ‘Be!’—and it is” [Surah Ya Sin 36:82]. But even the Universe took a few days to be in place! Gradualness, indeed, is a characteristic of the action of the Sustainer of the Universe.
Do your work of transformation little by little. Rumi says: “Little by little, wean yourself. This is the gist of what I have to say. From an embryo, whose nourishment comes through the blood, move to an infant drinking milk, to a child on solid food, to a searcher after wisdom, to a hunter of more invisible game.”
Grandfather said that by doing the work of inner growth, little by little you make progress, increment by increment and again, a big jump! The big jump happens because of the little-by-little application. It’s a law. Truly, it pays to persist, little by little.
Grandfather enjoyed telling the following story. The Mullah was enamored of Indian classical music. He eagerly sought out a teacher to take private lessons. “How much will it cost?” asked the Mullah.
“Three pieces of silver the first month and one piece of silver from the second month onward,” replied the teacher.
“Excellent!” replied the Mullah. “Sign me up from the second month!”
Letting Go of Negativity
Neti Neti ~ Tauba Tauba
An excess of unpleasant feelings bruises the soul, especially if these feelings flow from what Sufis call negative imaginary scenarios in the landscape of our minds and hearts. If through our fertile imagination we continuously play out these negative scenarios internally, they manifest on some level of reality. The subconscious cannot distinguish between real and imagined scenarios, so it absorbs and reacts to the negativity as if it were real, triggering a downward spiral of depression and hopelessness. Thus it is critical to become aware of these negative imaginary scenarios swirling in our minds and to intervene immediately. Sufis say, “Tauba! Tauba!”the moment they recognize this is happening. The word tauba implies the intention to turn to God for help. Buddhist practitioners reject the scenario altogether, saying, “Neti Neti” or “Not real! Not real!” The cyber savvy may bridge the two approaches, acknowledging the scenario but turning away from it by saying, “Cancel! Cancel!” or “Delete! Delete!” When used along with Sacred Naming, any of these spiritual interventions will break the pattern and, by the grace of God, allow space for beautiful patterns of thoughts and feelings to take root. Always remember to be compassionate with yourself during these spiritual interventions.
*Sacred Naming is to name yourself with compassion.